Christmas eve with Amelia.

Popping out to say hello.

A new kind of accessory

If you let us in, we promise not to try and ride the toy trains.

Enjoying the White House Christmas tree.

Did someone say cookie batter?

Eating your sugar cookie and having it too.

Many times when I talk to people I get the sense they envy some aspect of life that they are currently not doing. It could be -
1. staying at home with the kids if they are a working mom,
2. consulting back to an old job if they are a stay at home mom,
3. owning their own business if they are still with their job.

Well gentle reader, envy no more. Here is what my day looked like from 3 pm on.

3 pm - Christmas crafts with Juliette
4 pm - Christmas crafts with Evie
5 pm - Made dinner
6 pm - Ate dinner with family - husband cleaned up
6: 30 pm - fought with DHL about latest pearl delivery (lack thereof)
6:45 pm - made sugar cookie dough for Evie's class party
7 pm - a quiet hour alone unaware of the gathering perfect storm
8 pm - leave for DHL Alexandria office to get the darn pearls myself
9 pm - accept consulting assignment (due by tomorrow morning)
9 pm - realize the doctor has called and Juliette does not have appendicitis as we feared
9:30 pm - move laundry off bed so sick husband can sleep, check pearl inventory
9:45 pm - email all outstanding pearl orders, suggest drop off/pick up time
10:00 pm - bake Evie's sugar cookies, burn a third
10:30 pm - start consulting assignment
11:30 pm - realize I don't have all documents for consulting assignment
11:45 pm - realize don't have cards or gifts for all teachers for tomorrow's parties.
11:46 pm - realize I have not triple-booked tomorrow morning as I thought, I have quintauple booked tomorrow morning with deliveries, meetings, conference calls, and two class parties.
11:47 - in the midst of writing this, realize I don't care I'm booked up so much. Whatever happens, happens.

Rest easy gentle reader. The grass is definitely not greener here today and know that whatever will happen tomorrow will happen.

If bottoms could talk....

The scene--

Bruce working on the computer in the dining room.

Juliette walks in naked.

"Daddy, if bottoms could talk what would they say?"

Bruce, without looking up - "They would say put your clothes on."

Did you say Christmas is coming? Are you sure??

The Wiggles are Dead to Me

http://www.thewiggles.com.au/au/mediacentre/news/31

Greg is quitting the Wiggles due to orthostatic intolerance--
The symptoms for this condition may include the following:• Excessive Fatigue• Exercise Intolerance• Nausea• Tachycardia• Palpitations• Tremulousness• Weakness - most noticeable in the legs• Chest Discomfort• Shortness of Breath• Migraines and Other Headaches• Gastrointestinal Problems.

The Wiggles have been an everyday part of our lives over the past three years. Juliette fell quickly in love and Evie has followed suit. Indeed, much to Juliette's dismay, Evie ALWAYS chooses to listen to the Wiggles in the car when it is her turn. Not Rocknocerous (although she loves them) Not spanish music, not parumpum pum pum. Only the Wiggles. Ever.

Bruce has long hypothesized that Greg was the only one with talent although I harbor a fondness for each contribution that Murray Anthony and Jeff make. Greg was indeed the front man, with boyish charm and that sunny yellow shirt.

Although, when forced to vote - I voted Greg most likely to tarnish the Wiggle star by scandle. Perhaps it was the boyish Bob Crane-like looks...

Back to the diagnosis, I have at least five of those symptoms. I wonder if I'll be retiring soon.

No! It is the bumble - surprising where creative juices take you.

Is this mommy without coffee?????

Miss Momma

Many of you know Evie has referred to her teacher as "Huggins" since the beginning of the year. Apparently, Mrs. Huggins really likes the idea of a proper address.

Since about a week ago, I've become "Miss Momma".

Bruce is "Miss Daddy".

Juliette is "Miss Ju Ju".

In most of our conversations (especially if Evie is in one room and we are elsewhere in the house) a typical Evie conversation with herself goes like this-

"Miss Momma! More cereal, please!.... "

"Miss Momma??? "

"More cereal!!"

"Miss Daddy?"

You are thinking - Could this child be any cuter?

I offer the following contrast.

Evie's potty training continues in the typical sporadic Bruce and Jennifer fashion. Today's lesson involved pooping on the floor in the kitchen, stepping in it, and tracking it across the kitchen floor in under three seconds.

I swear I do not make this stuff up.

Happy thanksgiving from Evie!!

Happy Thanksgiving from Juliette!

The expression on Evie's face before she strikes - will it be a lunge? A hug? A jump off a cliff? You never know until it happens.

Ten ways to do a turkey

Since the little girls have gotten sick, we've been watching hours upon hours of the Food Network and drinking cans of ginger ale, aka nectar from the gods if you are four.

Here is a sampling of the ways we've seen the birdy prepared to celebrate Thanksgiving.

Deep-fried
Individual cornish hens stuffed
Turkey cutlets
Turkey under a brick
Turkey ravioli

Here is what they have made stuffing with-

Corn bread and sausage
Pumpkin muffins and zucchini
Cranberry muffins and onions
Cornbread, tomatoes and basil
Cornbread and oyster stuffing


It makes me long for the days that only PBS had cooking shows and Julia and Jacques Pepin would banter about the use of butter and how to debone a turkey.

Someone pour me another glass of gingerale, Alton Brown is about to teach me how to make the perfect gravy.

Mmm chocolate

On the Fifth Day of November

On the fifth day of November, Evie got sick. Since then we've had-

One Nasty virus
Two sick children
Two wonderful houseguests (who helped enormously with sick children)
Three bottles of Motrin (kidding)
Four grumpy family members
Five sleepless nights on an air mattress

and no work done!

When Life Hands You Lemons, Play Golf

I was making a recipe that called for the zest of 20 lemons Saturday morning. Saturday, Juliette had 2 birthday parties of classmates to attend. There was also card making, gift wrapping etc. to be done. Evie was devastated she wasn't getting to go to the party and consequently howled when Juliette left with Bruce.

To comfort her, I handed her a lemon. She put it on the floor and ran for her golf clubs.

Five Observations on Halloween

Yes, we celebrate it - Juliette and Evie traditionally with our friends Amelia, Rachel, Ming and Korrinna. I have a few observations on last night.

1. Halloween brings the girl out in our girls. Yes, Juliette may give a death sentence to an ant or person (more about that in a future blog) , but she is really afraid of everything. Evie, our bolder child, is even MORE afraid of everything than Juliette. This is ok. It means they are not jaded or worldly-wise, or destined to become so by the time they are five. So it limits the houses we can visit (deemed too scary) and may include a walk around the block to avoid said scary house or a spontaneous bursting into tears, but that is ok. We want them to be little for as long as they can.

2. Mind control doesn't work, packaging does. When Juliette is presented with an enormous bowl of candy and is told she may have ANY SIX SHE WANTS she goes straight for the nerds, starburst, and laffy taffy. Meanwhile, her mother is inwardly screaming - ALMOND JOY, REESES, dump the junk, GRAB THE 100,000 Bar! The clever bright packaging is a cruel reality for a chocolate-loving mama.

3. Costumes are all about accessories. We got two-dozen compliments on our off-the shelf cow costume - all because of our cow bell and milk pail. There is a lesson in there for me - I'm sure it has to do with makeup and manicured nails, but I just can't quite get it.

4. Halloween is way bigger for parents than kids up until age 8. There were so many dressed up parents. 80% of the women were witches. Why? Why not Dorothy, or Pippi Longstocking or Lara Croft or Wonder Woman? What is it about witches that is so appealing to adult women? We all own a 70% black wardrobe - is it to cut down on costume expense? (No, I do not dress up. I can't believe you even wondered it.)

5. On the eating end, Halloween is bigger than any other holiday for our children. They could NOT believe their mother was letting them eat all of that candy. I caught several sidelong glances of disbelief as they plunged into another lollipop or box of nerds or twizzler. Six little girls, six sugar hangovers. No one went to sleep until 3 am. K

pumpkins

You mean we get candy??

A practice run for tomorrow!

After apple picking

Is there any room left for momma and daddy?????

from the Juliette archives

Two years ago, when Juliette was just about two, she was my commuting buddy. Many of the roads around DC require two or more passengers and Juliette instantaneously made me roadworthy.

We drove a car w/o a cd player, so we sang. Or I sang. Bruce and I have songbook of odes to Juliette that spontaneously generated from the time we got her. She had ten songs in her songbook by the time she was two. One of them is the classic "I love you Conrad" from Bye Bye Birdie - In the car I'd sing it to Juliette, then to daddy, then gramma, you get the picture.

One day, just about two years ago. Juliette sang it back to me " I love you Mommy, oh yes I do..." She sang the whole song and my heart just swelled. Her first song ever was to her mommy.

Quiet for a moment. Then she started to sing to her little stuffed dog...

"I love you Doggie, oh yes I do..."

OT - What mommy has been up to

Enough anecdotes on small children - let's get back to me. Interesting sports fact, the Cardinals have the second worst season in history for a team in the World Series - who had the worst? The METS! How cruel is fate?

Books read recently - In the middle of "Heat" by Bill Buford. Loving it. Finished "The Namesake" by Jhumpa Lahiri. While, I liked Namesake, it made me starving for Indian food. Thus, a trip to Indian buffet was made last weekend. We will also be going to Indian buffet next week. I am convinced that my version of food in heaven will include the following ethnic breakdowns - 56% Indian, 10% Mexican (emphasis Oaxacan), 10% middle eastern/asian (pakistani, israeli, lebanese), 10% french and belgian chocolate, 10% Italian, 2% Chinese (preferably noodles and dim sum), 2% sushi.

If there was an extra 10 %, it would include ice cream, french fries, and sandwiches. I love a good sandwich.

Again, I digress.

Movies seen, only one "the Departed". I loved it. Recognizing Martin Scorsese's poetic violence is not for the faint at heart, I only recommend it to those readers with a stomach for mob violence. Graphic mob violence. Very graphic violence. It was not a perfect movie (as were the Godfathers) but was compelling and had good twists and was about the furthest thing from Dora the Explorer I can currently imagine.

Work I've done - being a consultant is a very different sort of beast. It takes what I liked about my work with the Council and distills it. I'm under tight deadlines (which I like) and the end of the day is based on what I accomplish (which I really like) but it can make for a cranky mommy during crunch times. ("Mommy, why are you yelling????")

The pearl business. Many of you know I am in the incubation stage of a new business - importing and selling freshwater pearls on behalf of worthy causes. I love the pearl side, and I really LOVE highlighting good charities. It is time to build a website and make online sales available, but I hesitate! Online sales are scary to me! Will I do it? Stay tuned.

The girls - We are settled into the school routine. Evie actually looks forward to seeing Mrs. Huggins. Juliette still loves school and her teachers and classmates. I love that they love school and like to help out at school when I can.

So, that is what is up with me. Next up, another pearl sale (fingers crossed that it will be a good one!) and Rory Stewart, the Prince of the Marshes.

We'll go back to cute stories about the girls in the next post.

I'm Sorry (I'm Sorry), So Sorry (So Sorry), Please Accept My Apology

For all of you under sixty, the above are the lyrics to a Brenda Lee song from the 50's. It should be Evie's theme song.

I believe we have mentioned Evie's penchant for mischief. She loves nothing more than to walk up to her sister, grab baby panda away and watch the sparks fly. There is not a malicious bone in her body, but she does love cause and effect like no one else.

She spends a fair amount of time in time out. More than a fair amount of time.

But time out doesn't end the Manise Inmate Regentrification Program for Time Out Participants (MIRPTOPC). The next step is the offender must apologize for whatever infraction, and the wronged must forgive. Finally, there must be a hug. The hug gives Evie a chance to tackle Juliette all over again.

Evie has to apologize all the time. All the time!

Consequently, sorry is her new favorite word. If you take something away from her, she says sorry, if you bump into her, she says sorry. If she brushes past you in the hall, she says sorry.

It is more than a little embarassing in public. I feel like I need to wait this one out. I never thought I would long for the "no mama, go away!" days again.

Goodbye, Huggins!

Humbled

We forget we are parents of Chinese girls. The girls are just the girls and most days it never occurs to us they came to be apart of our family in a non-traditional manner. Certainly in Northern Virginia, there are so many non-traditional families we blend in wherever we go.

So, we found ourselves in a funny situation a few weeks ago. Many of you know I pursue culinary excellence in an Indiana Jones-like manner. Yes, I use the Post Dining Guide, The Washingtonian, and Zagat rigorously to hunt down restaurants, but I trend toward the unpolished gems in those resources, versus a Citronelle or Maestro. This devotion led us to a new (to us) Chinese restaurant in Alexandria.

On the food side, it was some of the most authentic Chinese food we've found in the DC area. We love A&J for dim sum and love the higher end Chinese fare that is popular for hosting Presidents
diplomats but the solid tastes of Beijing at bargain prices have eluded us until this restaurant.

The food was evenly wonderful, some of the dishes were even great. We were only sad there weren't more of us eating to justify tasting more dishes, we will definitely return to this place - with more people!

Now, the humbling part. The restaurant is small, with maybe only about 10 or twelve tables. At least six of them were large round tables to eat in a group of 10- which is also very traditionally Chinese. We got there around 6 pm and got a smaller table right away.

Right after we arrived, a bus pulled up and the restaurant's larger tables filled with visitors from China. At this point, we were one of two tables of diners were not Chinese natives. This attracted some attention, and the visitors from the tour bus realized we weren't Chinese but the girls were.

Then the toasting started, and the thank you's, and the pictures. We feel so blessed by the girls being ours, we returned thank you's.

I couldn't help but wonder if I were in China and ran across kids from the U.S. who had been adopted by Chinese families if I would have had the same wonderful response. Bruce and I were incredibly blessed by the experience and their warmth to us. It was humbling to be thanked for something we feel we have benefited so much from!

We said goodbye, then we drove off and once again became the typical anonymous Northern Virginia family.

Juliette scraped her lip last week! Ouch!!

Top Ten Children's Books

We are big readers in this house. Each of us has our favorites. When I am asked what my favorite book is, I produce a list of 10.

Here are my top 10 favorites for the girlies! In no particular order, as that would be waaay too hard.

1. Zen Shorts (jon muth's illustrations and stories are uniformly strong)
2. The Quiltmakers Gift (again the illustrations! the story!!!!)
3. Jamberry (bruce degen transforms the world into berries with the most appealing rhymes)
4. Snoozers (we sing this book cover to cover)
5. The Big Red Barn (Margaret Wise Brown in top form!)
6. The Cat that Walked Across France (great impressionist art, puts small children to sleep - a perfect book, no?)
7. The Runaway Rice Cake (dumplings, noodles, nian gao, oh my!)
8. If You Give a Pig a Pancake (I like this book so much I rewrote it as satire and presented it to colleagues)
9. When Pigasso Met Mootisse - a Moosterpiece
10. The Giving Tree - delightful to read with a small girl who squeaks every last word in the sentence.

Email me your favorites!

Busted

Every person has their vice. Some of us have more than one.

Mine include:
Chocolate - preferably European
Iced Venti Americano from Starbucks
Project Runway

This post is about vice #2. For those of you who knew me a long time ago, you know I was a committed tea drinker. About five years ago, work became waaay more demanding and I found that an iced coffee could keep my energy up. It has since become a serious addiction.

Now, with two small children, I spend more at Starbucks than I do at the movies or on clothes or books. I get ornery when I don't get it. I plot travel based on drive thru locations, I had serious reservations about going to the Outer Banks this summer knowing I would be more than 50 miles away from the closest one.

So, yesterday was a busy morning before gymnastics. Too busy, in fact to make the requisite stop on the way to gymnastics. Juliette has an hour class first, then Evie and I go to Mommy & Me (sidebar: imagine me on a trampoline, yes it is that funny.)

I thought after kissing Juliette - why not find a coffee place close by? I asked a mom, got directions and took off, knowing Evie and I would be back in plenty of time to cheer Juliette through the rings and uneven bars.

Guess who had to go to the potty 5 minutes before I returned? When I walked through the door back into the building, 10 pair of mommy eyes were looking sympathetically at their peer who had been busted sneaking out to Starbucks.

Juliette came out, accusations flew. Thank heavens I had brought along a hot chocolate for her. Forgiveness was granted and an action plan was put in place in case I ever felt the need for coffee again. It would be ok, as long as I notified her in advance.

Here is what we looked like on the first day of school

The past week

So in the past week the following happened--

Sunday -- We had a birthday party for Evie - never give hairbrushes as a party gift because...

Monday -- We have a lice scare (and treatment) with Juliette - phone calls to all birthday party participants ensue (as well as school)

Tuesday -- Jennifer goes out with friends for the evening. Juliette throws up in Bruce's lap

Wednesday -- Evie catches a cold

Thursday -- Juliette, Evie, and Jennifer go the aquarium in Baltimore to meet friends, see dolphins. Cry! Dolphins splash small children, another parental error in judgement (they really WON'T splash us if we sit here in the splash zone.)

Friday -- House cleaned - Hurray! Mommy and Evie go to story time at the library and she isn't the wildest child in the room (double Hurray! Mrs. Huggins is working!!!) Juliette and Mommy go to Borders and read books. Highlights include Angelina's Halloween (Mommy is a sellout) and Sleeping Beauty (disney claptrap).

What will the weekend bring for pestilence, famine or plague? Stay tuned.

P.S. You haven't lived until you have heard the Manise sisters sing I've Been Working on the Railroad. Rush to the phone and dial us before they grow out of it!

Yesterday was the first anniversary of gotcha day for Evie

OT-

What I should be blogging about is the first week of school. The fact that on the first morning I broke into the house looking for my keys when I had been sitting on them. How Evie cries and tries to escape when she gets dropped off - but she's made it!

Instead, let's talk about pop culture a bit.

Television
Project Runway-Gotta love this show. It is my destination television.
As is Charlie Rose - who always makes me interested in delving more into whatever topic he is covering.

Books
The Places In Between - by Rory Stewart. Just finished it and LOVED it. Although I found myself getting frustrated with him about halfway through his walk across Afghanistan. Will be reading The Prince of the Marshes after my birthday.

Magazine I most want to read-
The New Yorker article on the Clinton legacy.

Magazine I will most likely read-
Cooking Light

Movies
Little Miss Sunshine - the only movie I have seen in the theater for the past six months. Those of you who know me well, know I saw40-50 movies a year pre-children, premarriage.

Cache - a rental, but a thoughtful one. This little French film with two big actors Juliette Binoche and Daniel Autiel sticks with you. You wonder what just happened?

Next up--
Work, work and more work.

Happy 2nd Birthday, Evie! We LOVE YOU!!

Top 5 Things Evie Doesn't Like

5. Time out - while she tolerates it pretty well, she is getting more and more obedient when we start counting. There are still days where she spends more time in the time out chair than in the real world. You all can report me for that.

4. Loud noises - ambulances, motorcades, low airplanes. She has no problem MAKING loud noises, but that is another story completely.

3. Vegetables. Why is it that little girls from China are such fantastic vegetable eaters until they are two? Is it because they have had the sweet ambrosia of Chik-fil-A once too often? Is once a month too often? Hopefully this is a stage.

2. Men with beards. She seems to be improving on this, but is not a fan of the fuzzy face.

1. HER PRESCHOOL CLASSROOM! It is the same as her Sunday classroom. Evie is NOT a fan of the nursery. It is pretty chaotic and crowded, and I completely understand where she is coming from on Sunday morning. Her two year old mind can't separate school from Sunday morning. We visited today and she clung like a barnacle. This is the same child who held a strangers hand from an office building across the parking lot to the car today. The same child who I had a stranger stop from running out in traffic on Tuesday - she has no fear except of the things listed above and her Sunday classroom. It is going to be interesting to see if she overcomes this.

Pictures and an update Monday.

On another note. Juliette cleaned her room herself today and did such a great job (even the shoes were put nicely in the closet.) She clearly takes after her father's side of the family.

A Visit from Cousin Missy

Bikini Lust

Probably there is no more frequent post on a parental blog than that of the quest for HER. The perfect babysitter.

Too serious in her studies to go crazy for boys, not overburdened with extra curriculars, loves kids. Won't burn down the house or do drugs. We know she exists, out there somewhere. We've heard of sightings in the upper Northwest area. We have yet to experience her ourselves.

Instead, we lust. Wherever we go. After teenage girls. At the pool, we know them by their bikinis. Everyone we categorize - too revealing, too sparkly, too come and get me, etc.

We meet parents with children our age. While only too happy to share the latest about college funds, the best pediatricians, where they go shopping for the baby's shoes, the same parents suddenly clam up and edge away when asked about who watches their kids when they go out.

At the mall, the teenage girls travel in packs. We ask people slightly older than us about their teenaged daughters. With the mall crowd and the friend's kids it is more difficult to discern if they would invite their boyfriend over or go through our stuff whereas the bikini tells us everything we need to know.

Last night we went out to dinner with my parents, the restaurant we were at lost power due to the storm. While everyone in the restaurant waited for the lights to return, one of the hostesses started playing with Evie.

Then, like manna from heaven it happened. "Do you ever need a babysitter?" She asked us. A college student, with serious glasses, no visible tattoos, studying child development psychology asking to watch our children. We exchanged vital information after I picked myself up from the floor.

Is it perfect? No, she lives too far away - but it could happen a couple of times.

Dinner and a movie. Not with her, but together. Blissfully together.

Alone.

cake with uncle jerry

Black Monday

Today, after a month of being home, Bruce went back to work.

Everyone here misses him. While our ways of missing him are different, we all miss him.

I recognize it is a rare thing for any home to have both parents in the house for any length of time, we like it that way around here. August is often filled with vacations, house projects, day trips, etc. I recognize what I have is unique, and I am uniquely grateful.

Nonetheless, it is a sad day for a certain two little girls when they wake up and only mommy is here. Plus they both have REALLY bonded with their dad and have wanted less and less to do with me as August has worn on.

The good news is the calvary is coming.

Grandma lands in Baltimore tomorrow afternoon.

Diary of a Neurotic Mother’s Addressing a 24-hour Virus in Evie

(a glimpse into a 2 year old's brush with the Hot Zone)

Many of you people with lives will often have someone come into the office complaining that their child is recovering from a 24 hour bug. In case you have ever wondered what that looks like and why they are so miserable the next day, here is a brief breakdown of the brink and back.

The good news is that this wasn't one of those projectile vomit 'flus - you with delicate constitutions need not worry and can read on.

Saturday night- Evie cries, Daddy sleeps on the floor next to her. (The shark is lurking beneath the surface.)

Sunday morning – Evie feels a little warm, but is acting fine. Jumps all over Sunday school, picks a fight with a boy twice her age and size. Business as usual.

Sunday afternoon – No indication of what is to come

Sunday 7 pm – During a family walk, Evie falls and scrapes her knee. Loses it so completely her mother carries her home. Upon arrival, temperature is taken. 100.7 degrees, Motrin administered.

Sunday 10 pm – Evie wakes up crying, irritable – mother takes temperature – 103.5. Calls father who reluctantly turns off Entourage. Discussion ensues – Evie is taken to 24 hour care center at Kaiser to rule out ear infection, strep etc. for why the fever isn’t responding to drugs.

Sunday 11 pm – Evie enters Kaiser, fever magically drops to 100.9. Strep & ear infection ruled out.

Monday 3 am, parents awoken to crying. Temperature 104.4. Mother administers Motrin, sleeps next to a very feverish child for the remainder of the night.

Monday 8 am, friend calls. Wakes all children and parents up.

Monday 9 am, Tylenol administered, fever 103.4. Cold shower administered.

Monday 10 am, dull listless Evie, won’t eat or drink

Monday 11 am, fever 104.1, still no eating or drinking. Evie won’t move or communicate, refuses to even suck ice. Cool bath administered

Mother contemplates probability of West Nile, Encephalitis, Bacterial Meningitis.

Noon - Evie won’t eat, barely sips juice (AT FULL STRENGTH) won’t take an ice pop.

Mother calls grandmother. Grandmother relates story of 2 year old dying of bacterial meningitis recently – same symptoms.

12:30 Mother calls Kaiser

1:30 Mother calls Kaiser again

1:40 Kaiser calls mother (who clearly now is on their looney list) Evie’s fever is 103 in one year and 101.7 in the other.
Kaiser says to bring her in.

1:50 pm, Evie enters Kaiser. Fever precipitously drops upon entering the building. Pretzels are demanded and ingested. Water drunk.

2:10 Doctor examines Evie. Fever 100.9. Tells mother Evie is overdressed. Just a virus. Rules out West Nile and Meningitis.

3:30 Watching Dora, Evie’s temp is back up to 103.7. Cool bath administered.

7 pm Evie eats dinner. Broccoli and grapes. A glass of water is ingested by offering oreo cookies after sips.

10 pm Evie wakes up screaming. Fever of 100. Mother rocks her, sleeps next to her.

12:30 am Evie wakes up, demands father. Goes to sleep on mother’s side of the bed. Mother stuck on the floor all night.

Tuesday am, fever 101. Acting like a normal child (not a normal Evie) parents have a glimpse into what a normal energy two year old is like.

Tuesday pm, awakes from nap demands ice pop and a trip to the pool. Everything is blissfully back to normal?

Ready for the pool.

No, Mommy! Go Away!!!

You would think those might be the words of the garrulous Juliette, but no, it is actually one of Evie's favorite things to say when she is upset.

We are back from a week at the beach in Duck, NC with a houseful of almost complete strangers. We brought no toys. Here are some lessons...

1. Never, Never try out an almost two year old in a big-girl bed for the first time on the first night of vacation. (Picture all four of us spread out in lounge chairs on the deck watching the stars at 4:30 am so as to not wake anyone else.)
2. In the car, children require 5 potty breaks for every single adult break. Often in rapid succession - they really aren't faking when they say they really really have to go that fifth time.
3. Strangers are better than toys. (Both girls loved every adult and every child in the house!)
4. Nothing tires little girls out more than a day at the beach.
5. When Evie has reached her limit in the car, she HAS REACHED HER LIMIT. ALL WILL SUFFER!!!! (see the title!)

It was a fun week, but it is good to be home! :)

Happy 10th Anniversary, Bruce! I'd do it all over again.

At what price, Love?

(Alternatively titled, "living for jenn")

This morning, breakfast rolled around.

As usual, I asked Juliette what she wanted and offered a few helpful suggestions...cereal? french toast?

She then asked a question that stopped me dead in my tracks.

"Are there any bagels left?"

"Excuse me?" I asked, wanting to have heard her wrong.

"I asked, Are there any bagels left?"

In a split second, for the first time I am confronted with the decision as to whether or not I really love Juliette. A selfless mommy would have replied "of course, darling" and run to the freezer to extract one of the lovingly cryopreserved circles of happiness. Not I.

I thought through my options--

1. Pretend I didn't understand - no, that would work with Evie, but not Juliette at this point.
2. Lie, say "no."
3. White lie, say "I'm not sure" immediately follow with a distract - "wanna watch Dora???"
4. Make up some arbitrary rule - disqualifying Juliette from eating bagels - "they are a choking hazard for Evie, you need to set a good example..."
5. Control the damage, "there aren't very many, how about you, Evie and I split one?"
6. Recognize giving a bagel is symbolic of the sacrifice of parenthood, lovingly give the bagel to my eldest.
7. Recognize a lesson in sharing was at my fingertips.
8. Recognize the last two answers are not my style, but give up the bagel anyway.

Guess which I chose???

I know there is an ice pop in this freezer...

4 Things to Love about Juliette & Evie Today

1. Evie singing bubble-ooo for "w"
2. Juliette mis-pronouncing "q" as a "w" - i.e., "squirrel" is "swirl"
3. Evie stopping her sobbing during a tantrum to say "hello" to the airplane over our head
4. Juliette making up "cards" for visitors and family and then demanding to know when they are sending one back

OT -

All of you faithful fans need to back off - I am NOT the only one who hates TH -

http://metrodad.typepad.com/index/2006/07/an_open_letter__1.html

MetroDad's language is waaay more colorful than my vanilla descriptions, and he wimps out over the TH baseball tour, but he really had me for a moment when I read that he too was hoping Apollo 13 wouldn't make it back.

5 People other than TH to play Charlie Wilson in no particular order-

Think tall, Texan, way with the ladies...

1. Clive Owen
2. George Clooney
3. Ralph Fiennes
4. Rupert Everett (if you don't know who he is, you've missed some great movies in the past 10 yrs.)
5. Tom Wilkinson (ditto)

5 People who aren't right, but would still do a better job

1. Johnny Depp (he nails almost everything)
2. Daniel Autiel (french, but waaaaayyy better)
3. The dead guy from weekend at Bernie's
4. Luke Wilson (could be a breakthrough role for him!)
5. Jon Heder a.k.a. Napolean Dynamite (as Napolean Dynamite he would still be more convincing)

Take Me Out to the Ballgame

I blame Jack Abramoff for ruining our beautiful connection to a corporate seat set at RFK Stadium. Don't know if you all know, but many corporations gave up their season tickets in the wake of the scandal. Last year, we had a sweet deal and went to many games.

Last night we bit the bullet and took Evie to her first-ever baseball game. It was Juliette's first non-corporate fatcat game. Our seats were so high, we could have spit and hit mile-high stadiu, in Denver.

The seats cost $3 apiece. Here is the breakdown of expenditures....

Tickets $9
Fees attached to tickets $9
Parking $12
Half smoke $6.50
Lemonade $5.50
Peanuts $4
Cotton Candy $3
Pretzel $3

Our seats were so bad, we were BEHIND the jumbotron.

Compare to pre-Abramoff corporate seats

Seats (6 of them, plenty of room to stretch) facevalue $30 X 6, for us - Free
Parking - Free
etc. etc.

Is it worth it losing those seats to see Ralph Reed lose his GA primary because of Abramoff ties?

ABSOLUTELY!!! One almost might say, priceless!

Before the nosebleed seats...

Ah, the confluence of flavors and texture....

Do not even think about taking my bagel away.

Ess A Bagel

a limerick composed to honor our bagel delivery girl

We love our Ellie, she is so pretty
She brings us Ess A Bagel from New York City
Other girls may love pearls,
Or taffeta and silk swirls ...
We think life without cream cheese and carbs would be a pity.

Coming soon - a list of the 347 actors better suited to play the part of Charlie Wilson than Tom Hanks.

OT - Why I Hate Tom Hanks

I didn't used to. Really, when he was Kip on Bosom Buddies, I actually found him funny. Big wasn't too bad either.

Maybe it started around Philadelphia. As someone who was involved with pediatric AIDS at the time, the movie felt ... like an oatmeal version of a very complex, heartbreaking reality.

The Oscar speech outing his H.S. teacher wasn't a favorite either.

Or maybe it was Forrest Gump. Sue me, but I didn't find the performance particularly compelling although the rest of the cast was great.

And the ego started to grow. Saving Private Ryan - squeezing tears out of the doughboy face to try to portray some emotion while Matt Damon stole what small show existed in Steven Spielberg's film school trick laden, jurassic park wanna be WWII movie where the Nazis were the dinosaurs.

Or how about the movie where he was onscreen with a volleyball. Maybe you forked out $8 to see that for three hours, but I'd rather contemplate my bellybutton.

So this summer, he played the lead in the Da Vinci Code. What Injustice!! Religious controversy aside, there is no person less appropriate for that Robert Langdon part. Again, you may have spent your money, but my taste for the perfect summer popcorn movie was dulled at the thought of seeing TH destroy a particularly likeable character for 2+ hours.

Which brings me to today's reason for this OT rant. Anyone who spoke to me two or three years ago had to hear a 15 minute speech devoted to Charlie Wilson's War. In case you forgot, let me refresh -
How great a book it was, how one man can make a difference, how complex and simple Washington worked, how our current Middle East crisis is particularly frightening in the context of American influence in the region in the 1980s.... etc.

You all yawned. Patted me on the head. Went on with your lives.

Tom Hanks optioned the book and is PLAYING CHARLIE WILSON!!!!

I curse the network that ever put bosom buddies on the air.

Blackberries

Juliette has an I-Spy book called Counting Colors. It is a tradition for us to often to a page or two before we read our bedtime story.

Each page has 10 different items, all with a single color theme, scattered about. On the black pager there is 1 calculator, 2 licorice sticks, 3 black dump trucks, 4 ants, 5 blackberries, etc.

She or I randomly will choose a number and find the required number of whatever item chosen. That night I said, find the five blackberries... Without hesitation, Juliette looks around the page and points to the calculator.

The Ohrwurm makes for an Verrückte Mutter

Ohrwurm is the German phrase to describe a tune that gets in your head and won't get out. Literal translation - brain worm.

Juliette has been singing "I've been working on the Railroad" Ohrwurm style for three days.

She hasn't been working on the railroad. Ever.

Despite her vivid singsonging lyrics about Dinah in the Kitchen.

Who is in that kitchen? Who????

It makes for a Verrückte Mutter (German for Crazy Mother!)

Happy 3 1/2, Juliette!

Juliette celebrates her half birthday today!

We are so thankful she is our girl!

Juliette at 3 years, 6 months - with her side kick, firecracker girl.

Juliette at six months.

Stay-at-home Moms vs. Moms that stay home

It is becoming increasingly apparent to me the longer I stay home that I am not a stay-at-home mom. Rather, I am a mom that stays home. I lack the social networking (outside of a business setting), nurturing, patience required for the former.

Look at the following comparison, pieced together when I should be doing consulting work, and draw your own conclusions.

Stay-at-home Moms vs. Moms that stay home
1. Plan regular playdates for their children to build social skills vs.
1. Drop their children in front of Dora to accommodate a conference call.
2. Are room moms at school and volunteer to read stories or do crafts vs.
2. Do the story or craft, but don’t do it until two weeks before school is out and they suddenly realize every other parent in the class has spent more time with their child in school than them.
3. Stay beside a sick child at night, all night vs.
3. Get the child back to sleep with drugs, then realize they can get an hour or two of billable work done since they are no longer sleepy – at a minimum they check email - they know they will hear the kid before anyone else does.
4. Search for stimulating activities online to prepare their children for preschool vs.
4. Beg the dad to let them go to Starbucks, the drycleaner, the grocery store, any where to escape for a few minutes.
5. Use sunscreen and bug towels vs.
5. Tell their kid to stay in the shade when they realize they’ve forgotten the stuff again!
6. Pack snacks (grapes and wholewheat crackers with little water bottles) vs.
6. Order their kid a hot chocolate at Starbucks (with madeleines to snack on, natch) and justify it calling it a serving of dairy.
7. Carry diaper bags (Kate Spade or LL Bean) vs.
7. Carry a single diaper (only half the time) in a newspaper plastic sleeve.
8. Use the web to explore safety recalls and get monogrammed lollipop pants for their little treasure vs.
8. Blog instead of work (remember, blogging is not billable) and Order toys from Amazon to assuage the guilt over dumping the child in front of Dora in the first place.

Do you even remember what it was like before you had your little darlings?

This is parent-speak for "Isn't your child the most important thing to you on the planet???"

It is part of the parent language no non-parent need bother themselves with. Another example "How old is she? She's adorable." You might think this is a simple compliment, but no. It actually is a solicitation on that individual's part for you to admire THEIR child. If you don't reciprocate, you are due for a very cold shoulder. Trust me, it took me months to figure this out. Back to Italy.

So, when people ask me this week, in particular. The title question of this post. I think of the blissful 2+ weeks spent in Italy and France three summers ago. It was our last hurrah before traveling to get Juliette in China that November. The picture of Bruce above is a perfect example of the happy, carefree, days we spent.

I wouldn't trade it for the unsolicited hugs and kisses and I Love You's from the two little girls, but I DEFINITELY REMEMBER WHAT IT WAS LIKE NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN!!

p.s. I can't WAIT to take them to Italy and France!!

A tanned, well rested pre-daddy Bruce soaking up the sun in Positano.

Paul's Blog

Hi Everyone!

Our cousin Paul got a blog.

It is very nicely written and shows what a handsome, strong, wonderful guy he is.

We've added it to our favorites-stop by and say hi to Paul!

Juliette and Evie

The Things We Do for Love

Today I took out Evie's stitches rather than make her see a doctor again. I took her in for a two-day post ER visit and she started hyperventilating when the nurse wanted her on the scale.

So this morning at Starbucks, I ran into a fellow bookclub member who happens to be a nurse. Nevermind that she is a research nurse at NIH and I haven't been to book club in at least six months.

Saw her.

Interrupted her friends.

Dragged her away to look at Evie's head.

She walked me through how to remove stitches. Sterilize, grab the knot with tweezers, snip.

After we got home from church, I did it!!

After naps, to celebrate we all went to the pool. Evie has been saying pool every day this week after her nap, but the doctor said to keep her out for a week. Today was her first day back and she was in heaven. Lips blue, shivering, drinking so much pool water it made ME sick to watch. Absolute heaven for Evie.

Juliette in her 4th finest

Happy 4th from Juliette!

They say I'm going to make it!!!

Telling Gramma about the trip to the ER.

ER Redux

It is pretty bad when the attending physician in the ER immediately recognizes you and says " I know you from somewhere."

"Here." Was my humble answer. Yes, we were back in the ER, today with Evie. She fell by the stairs (sounds like a cover, I know) and gashed her head open the likes of which I will remember a long time coming. The wound wasn't large (three stitches on top) but what it lacked in length, it more than made up for in depth (many internal stitches). When the aforementioned attending physician is impressed with the depth of the wound, you know it is deep.

Evie was her very happy self, until she was placed in the Burrito. The burrito is what they put children in to keep them from wiggling during proceedures. It is head to toe velcro. First, the child is placed in a doubled up sheet, arms crossed Houdini-style. Next comes the velcro contraptions, which is similar to what they use on spine injuries, but more limiting for movement.

Evie had an arm out in five minutes flat. Her crying/sobbing/squealing made her gotcha day look like the happiest day of her life. I felt bad for the other kids who hadn't hadn't had their proceedures yet in the ER. I'm sure they were wondering what the doctors were doing to her. She actually cried so hard she went to sleep or passed out. I couldn't tell.

Being Evie, she bounced right back, and was doing summersaults before bed tonight. She has ripped off two bandages, but she is blissfully asleep.

You are leaving me with a sitter?????

Rite of Passage

Mommy left two little girls with a babysitter today and went and did some consulting work-at where else? Starbucks.

It felt oh, so good.

Here's what they did while I was gone.

1. Puzzles
2. Television
3. More television.
4. Yes, that is right, more television.
5. Painted.
6. Playdough.

They were VERY sad to see the babysitter go (how quickly those four hours flew by!) and wanted to know immediately when she would be back.

Next week, mommy promised.

This song is making me crazy

While Juliette has picked up many of her mother's sweet endearing qualities, the colloquial language is not one of them.

While I don't swear like a sailor, let's leave it that there are moments when colorful language might be interjected into a conversation to make an emphatic point. I recognize using such base language concedes to a lack of creativity. I am guilty of being uncreative.

While we haven't come to the colorful language point yet - I offer this as evidence, and fear that we are heading in that direction.

Me - "Juliette, why don't you sing your recital song for us?"

Juliette - "No, Mommy. That song is making me crazy. It gets into my head and won't go away."

Today Started Out Like Any Normal Day*

* When I began this blog, I promised myself it would not devolve into pooh stories. Here we are devolving. Trust me, gentle reader, it is a spectacular story with many twists and turns - but alas, it really is about pooh. So - you decide - the lady or the tiger. Go on about your day and check back another day or read on.

We were very close to having breakfast, and it was strangly quiet in our home. Too quiet.

Quietness in a home with Evie always has an ominous quality. The only satisfying quiet is when she is softly snoring in her bed. She was very much awake today.

And quiet.

A bit of background - Evie will be two in September, which means potty time. Being my typical self, I've ratched up the inclusion of potty-related books into our nap and night reading times.

One of them is the classic "Everyone Poops". This was clearly a huge mistake.

So I call, Evie - what are you doing? And she comes running. The sleeper she was wearing last night had a hole about three inches big between her knee and foot - I notice something protruding from it and think - how harmless, how cute, she is stuffing tissues into the little hole.

She runs up and says "Mamma, poop." Hmmm, looking closer I see it is her DIAPER protruding from the little hole.

I look down the hall. There is a trail of fully formed poops trailing down the hall.

How? Why? What are the physics of being able to poop on a carpet (and trail it across a hardwood floor) while fully clothed - diaper or no diaper?

I order Juliette to her room and toss Evie in the tub.

Juliette calls in a frantic voice. "Mommy Come" there are two puddles of tinkle, courtesy of her sister waiting for her in her room.

See the above question related to the physics of a fully clothed child and apply to this situation.

Evie starts calling for her Daddy from the tub. In future years, her therapist will spend six months on this incident.

The interloper - see who is at Miss Sugar's feet.

The conga line

The freeze dance

One, two, three, plie

Juliette and Miss Sugar

Laibin girls plus Sophie, Juliette and Amelia

911

We've reached another benchmark. Evie dialed 911 with a cellphone key guard on. Who knew it was even possible?

I didn't know whether to be proud or embarassed. Maybe both.

I suspect it won't be the last time!

Parental Anxiety - Take 1

There are many reasons why parents are anxious.
Am I doing enough to care for my little one?
Are they well fed?
Do we play enough?
Do we spend enough time nurturing the intellectual capacity?

This quickly evolves (especially after child #2) into inane.
Does the little one watch too much television... etc.

Never, in my wildest dreams did I expect to be stressing out over my child's costume
(read lack thereof)
for career day the last day of school.

Did I mention she is three? If you ask her what she wants to do, the most frequent answer is drive.

Second place. Chef

Third place. Doctor

Fourth place. Teacher

She wanted to go as a teacher. No amount of thoughtful input would sway her to consider the doctor kit (already in the house) or a chef's toque - easily made or obtained.

I am sure all of you faithful blog readers with your creative left brains are assembling a costume for a teacher as you read this. It probably involves a hand held chalk board, glasses etc. Yes, you are better than me, and clearly Juliette would blossom under your care.

I couldn't think of anything and so she went in her school clothes. Perturbed.

Visiting class that morning, I didn't feel too bad until a construction worker walked in, followed closely behind by a paratrooper in an actual uniform.

That is when the anxiety attacks started.

I'm wearing my sister's flip flops!

Today's Top Five

Regular readers of the blog - you all know I love to quantify in lists. Please be assured, it is all about survival - if I didn't do it, nothing would ever get done.

Top 5 Nicknames for Evie -

1. Snowball - Juliette started calling her this around Christmas.
2. Ya Ya (to Juliette's La La)
3. Fairy Godmother - hmm who does that leave to play that secondary part, Cinderella?
4. Evie B - yes, her middle name is Elizabeth, don't ask for a logical explanation
5. Evie, NO! This technically isn't a nickname. Rather, it is a phrase often shouted by the other three members of the family shortly before Evie puts herself or them in mortal danger.

Happy Mother's Day!

Eldest daughter, shyster

shyster
n : a person (especially a lawyer or politician) who uses unscrupulous or unethical methods [syn: pettifogger]

Dora the Explorer is not my friend. Dora and her little buddy, Boots, are the uberpop culture for the under three crowd. Even little 20 month old Evie requests Dora by name and will sit profoundly still during an episode.

Dora and Boots have singsongy voices. Silly catchphrases. More marketing niches than The Dinosaur that Will Not be Named. They drive me a little insane.

Dora has come out with a memory game, natch. Match princess Doras, cowgirl Doras, Dora hugging Boots, etc.

One of the tangential characters on Dora is Swiper the fox. I have yet to meet a kid with any Dora experience that doesn't LOVE Swiper. There is only one Swiper match in the whole deck (versus Dora's 86 and Boot's 17). Everyone in our family competes to get the Swiper match first.

The other night, Juliette and I were playing. To my amazement she got Swiper as her first match. Second game, Juliette's first match was Swiper again.

Juliette had marked the cards.

Introducing Henry -

This note was banned by psychologist father.

Behind this innocent face lurks a future WWF champion.

Watch out, Diane Keaton. I have the same fashion sense.

American Idol, here I come!