It is becoming increasingly apparent to me the longer I stay home that I am not a stay-at-home mom. Rather, I am a mom that stays home. I lack the social networking (outside of a business setting), nurturing, patience required for the former.
Look at the following comparison, pieced together when I should be doing consulting work, and draw your own conclusions.
Stay-at-home Moms vs. Moms that stay home
1. Plan regular playdates for their children to build social skills vs.
1. Drop their children in front of Dora to accommodate a conference call.
2. Are room moms at school and volunteer to read stories or do crafts vs.
2. Do the story or craft, but don’t do it until two weeks before school is out and they suddenly realize every other parent in the class has spent more time with their child in school than them.
3. Stay beside a sick child at night, all night vs.
3. Get the child back to sleep with drugs, then realize they can get an hour or two of billable work done since they are no longer sleepy – at a minimum they check email - they know they will hear the kid before anyone else does.
4. Search for stimulating activities online to prepare their children for preschool vs.
4. Beg the dad to let them go to Starbucks, the drycleaner, the grocery store, any where to escape for a few minutes.
5. Use sunscreen and bug towels vs.
5. Tell their kid to stay in the shade when they realize they’ve forgotten the stuff again!
6. Pack snacks (grapes and wholewheat crackers with little water bottles) vs.
6. Order their kid a hot chocolate at Starbucks (with madeleines to snack on, natch) and justify it calling it a serving of dairy.
7. Carry diaper bags (Kate Spade or LL Bean) vs.
7. Carry a single diaper (only half the time) in a newspaper plastic sleeve.
8. Use the web to explore safety recalls and get monogrammed lollipop pants for their little treasure vs.
8. Blog instead of work (remember, blogging is not billable) and Order toys from Amazon to assuage the guilt over dumping the child in front of Dora in the first place.
