I just returned from my first work travel in two years and offer up the following terms that evolved as a result.
Grandparent hangover -- whenever grandma and grandpa go back home (or any very special spoiling friend) behavior and attitudes take a violent slide toward the dark side. This is something all parents of small children are aware of but until now, this phenomenon lacked the appropriate title.
Grandchild hangover -- this happens between the time you board the plane and before you can get to the chiropracter to to get your back and shoulders back in working order.
Safe place -- this isn't actually the room without windows in your house, it is the airplane after the door has shut and the plane is taxiing down the runway. THE KIDS CAN'T GET TO YOU HERE!!! AMAZING!!!!! This only happens when the proper caregiver is in place so you aren't feeling sad about leaving the babies behind.
Techslam -- Occurs at a conference or during a webex or conference call when participants use electronic methods to slam the speaker during the presentation itself. After the glaze of boredom sets in, laptops are opened and Blackberrys are wildly thumbed. Smirks quietly exchanged. To the speaker, it can look like the audience 1.) is conscienciously taking notes -or 2.) has an immediate issue that must be resolved but it is really everyone typing as fast as their fingers will let them mock the speaker's 1.) self-aggrandizing behavior, 2.) cluelessness, or 3.) lack of audience awareness.
Today's world is a tough place to be for a conference speaker, but sometimes an airplane is a great place to be!
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Gold
Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver and the other gold.
Here is my golden friend, Kristin, with her daughter, Elisabeth, Juliette's golden friend.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Bowling Alone
Actually, a more appropriate title is "Eating Alone".
Today marked a rite of passage - Evie had her first extended day session. For the first time in my life, I had to prepare two boxed lunches and had lunch completely devoid of companionship on a regular school day since Evie became part of our family.
As I ate these questions occured to me.
Who will I blame for spots on my clothes from here forward?
Will I still have as many spots on my clothes?
Do I still need to exclusively shop at Target?
Why don't I get more accomplished, even when I don't read the paper?
Evie was having a blast - making a monkey mask and listening to stories. Juliette was listening to show and tell presentations and trying to finish her carrots before lunch time ran out, knowing there would be no treat in tomorrow's lunch if today's carrots weren't finished.
At home, things were eerily quiet.
Today marked a rite of passage - Evie had her first extended day session. For the first time in my life, I had to prepare two boxed lunches and had lunch completely devoid of companionship on a regular school day since Evie became part of our family.
As I ate these questions occured to me.
Who will I blame for spots on my clothes from here forward?
Will I still have as many spots on my clothes?
Do I still need to exclusively shop at Target?
Why don't I get more accomplished, even when I don't read the paper?
Evie was having a blast - making a monkey mask and listening to stories. Juliette was listening to show and tell presentations and trying to finish her carrots before lunch time ran out, knowing there would be no treat in tomorrow's lunch if today's carrots weren't finished.
At home, things were eerily quiet.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
5 things to love about Genevieve
1. Her sociability - she walks down the corridor of school greeting the moms of the children in hers and other classes.
2. Her love of marbles - she can contentedly play for hours with marbles, polished rocks or acorns.
3. Her ability to climb like a monkey in pursuit of anything her mother has put out of reach (she piles furniture together - think the mousetrap game.)
4. Her love of clothing, thereby confirming her as a female human rather than a simian.
5. Her happy chirpy demeanor! Evie is a joy to be around!!
2. Her love of marbles - she can contentedly play for hours with marbles, polished rocks or acorns.
3. Her ability to climb like a monkey in pursuit of anything her mother has put out of reach (she piles furniture together - think the mousetrap game.)
4. Her love of clothing, thereby confirming her as a female human rather than a simian.
5. Her happy chirpy demeanor! Evie is a joy to be around!!
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
5 things to love about Juliette
1. Her application of knowledge - mommy, give me carrots one day, red peppers the next carrots the next, because we are studying patterns.
2. Her smokin' bob.
3. Her helpful hands (like when I shut my skirt in the locked front door this morning and dropped the 27 posters I was holding, along with the notebook and purse and she helped me clean up.)
4. Her sense of justice - she will be a formidable force for fairness in the world.
5. Her love of all things musical, especially musicals "Doe, ,a deer, a female deer..."
2. Her smokin' bob.
3. Her helpful hands (like when I shut my skirt in the locked front door this morning and dropped the 27 posters I was holding, along with the notebook and purse and she helped me clean up.)
4. Her sense of justice - she will be a formidable force for fairness in the world.
5. Her love of all things musical, especially musicals "Doe, ,a deer, a female deer..."
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
Why I may not seem like I'm paying attention
Note: up front, I must credit Brian Shaw with a similar post regarding my children and interruption last month, however the following is a completely accurate depiction of the goings on at my house this morning, without embellishment.
So every other Tuesday morning, I have a standing three-hour conference call with the biggest client I consult with. It is rare that I have to interact on the call, so most of the time I'm listening to the conversation with the mute button on.
This is never an ideal situation with two little ones at home, but it is even tougher with just one. Evie no longer has her sister to distract her for three hours, so she looks to her alpha female to entertain her, regardless of the dazed expression I have and the phone somewhere in range either next to my ear or on speaker.
This is what it was like this morning during the legislative update--
We are working on reauthorization... "Mommy! I'm hungry"
...working with key Senators ..."Mommy! I want peanut butter and jelly!!"
...educating their staffers as the turnover is so great since the last reauthorization "Peanut butter!! AND jelly!!"
is there a chance of a Presidential veto?? "Peanut butter! Cut in triangles!!!"
does anyone have any questions?? "Mommy! I have to go potty"
what is the reaction from the Department of..."Mommy, come wipe my bum!"
So every other Tuesday morning, I have a standing three-hour conference call with the biggest client I consult with. It is rare that I have to interact on the call, so most of the time I'm listening to the conversation with the mute button on.
This is never an ideal situation with two little ones at home, but it is even tougher with just one. Evie no longer has her sister to distract her for three hours, so she looks to her alpha female to entertain her, regardless of the dazed expression I have and the phone somewhere in range either next to my ear or on speaker.
This is what it was like this morning during the legislative update--
We are working on reauthorization... "Mommy! I'm hungry"
...working with key Senators ..."Mommy! I want peanut butter and jelly!!"
...educating their staffers as the turnover is so great since the last reauthorization "Peanut butter!! AND jelly!!"
is there a chance of a Presidential veto?? "Peanut butter! Cut in triangles!!!"
does anyone have any questions?? "Mommy! I have to go potty"
what is the reaction from the Department of..."Mommy, come wipe my bum!"
Monday, October 01, 2007
The Troubadour and the Jumpy Pirate
This is what Juliette brought for show and tell today. Unfortunately, you can't see the pants, thereby loosing the asthetic punch my theatre-performer to be launched with this outfit. See below for a glimpse, also note Evie's reaction--
Even when it looks like Evie is standing still, she is not!
Thursday, September 27, 2007
For those of you who think "I wish I could be the stay at home parent..."
I offer you an anecdote from this morning that will forever change your mind.
Five minutes before we are to leave for school, Juliette informs me she needs to go to the potty.
A few minutes pass. I call "time to leave" and am greeted with silence. Ominous silence.
Another minute passes. "Mommy! Something's wrong."
Indeed there was, keeping my beloved daughter's excrement company in the toilet bowl was their toothpaste cap.
Bless Juliette for recognizing flushing was not the thing to do in this instance. Nonetheless, there was the reality, cozied up to one another like two lonely forty-somethings a half hour before last call on Friday night.
Never forget this story when you are sorrowfully considering the greener grass of the stay at home parent.
Five minutes before we are to leave for school, Juliette informs me she needs to go to the potty.
A few minutes pass. I call "time to leave" and am greeted with silence. Ominous silence.
Another minute passes. "Mommy! Something's wrong."
Indeed there was, keeping my beloved daughter's excrement company in the toilet bowl was their toothpaste cap.
Bless Juliette for recognizing flushing was not the thing to do in this instance. Nonetheless, there was the reality, cozied up to one another like two lonely forty-somethings a half hour before last call on Friday night.
Never forget this story when you are sorrowfully considering the greener grass of the stay at home parent.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Yesterday
Two years ago yesterday, that delightful little package of energy known as Genevieve Elizabeth Manise was placed into her mother's arms.
She screamed.
I handed her to her father.
Juliette howled.
Evie howled.
Juliette howled louder.
This momentous occasion was a lesson in the value of earplugs, and was chronicled in dueling banjos a few days later.
What would our world be like without Evie? We cannot imagine. She is as amazing and chirpy as ever. A complete and total blessing - for which we are eternally grateful.
She screamed.
I handed her to her father.
Juliette howled.
Evie howled.
Juliette howled louder.
This momentous occasion was a lesson in the value of earplugs, and was chronicled in dueling banjos a few days later.
What would our world be like without Evie? We cannot imagine. She is as amazing and chirpy as ever. A complete and total blessing - for which we are eternally grateful.
Monday, September 17, 2007
One Down, Thirty-four to Go...
So, the first week of school is over. The girls love their new classrooms, teachers, classmates, lunchbags, and backpacks.
I let them wear dresses every day to school and felt like a homeschool mom when I'd take them to the park in dresses. Since my hair is long right now and I've never been one for much makeup, I felt like declaring my reliance on The Wall Street Journal, '80's pop music, and art-house movies to the casual observers at the park. I immediately went home and did my toes, but regretfully forgot my eyebrows.
Pop quiz--
1. The girls picked their lunchboxes based on which of the following features:
A. Character depiction
B. Color
C. Thermal retention/ cold retention
D. Bonus Features
E. A & B
F. A& C
G. A & D
H. They never saw their lunchboxes before the first day of school.
2. How many calls regarding food allergies in Evie's class did Jennifer field in relation to Evie's school b/d celebration?
A. none
B. One
C. Two
D. Three
E. Four or more
3. How many days has Juliette been the last one to be picked up by her mother since the first day of school?
A. none
B. One
C. Two
D. Three
E. Four or more
4. How many billable hours has Jennifer completed during school time since the first day of school?
A. none
B. Less than One
C. One to Two
D. Three to Four
E. Five or more ( HA HA HA - can't even type that one with a straight face!)
5. On a scale of minus ten to ten, how clean is the house compared to the day before school started?
Minus ten - exceptionally dirty - the roaches moved out.
Minus five - is that a dead mouse I smell?
Zero - laundry piled high on Daddy's dresser, just like always.
Plus five - one could eat off the floor in the kitchen
Plus ten - the windows are done! Someone call the newspaper!!
So dear reader, how well do you know us?
I let them wear dresses every day to school and felt like a homeschool mom when I'd take them to the park in dresses. Since my hair is long right now and I've never been one for much makeup, I felt like declaring my reliance on The Wall Street Journal, '80's pop music, and art-house movies to the casual observers at the park. I immediately went home and did my toes, but regretfully forgot my eyebrows.
Pop quiz--
1. The girls picked their lunchboxes based on which of the following features:
A. Character depiction
B. Color
C. Thermal retention/ cold retention
D. Bonus Features
E. A & B
F. A& C
G. A & D
H. They never saw their lunchboxes before the first day of school.
2. How many calls regarding food allergies in Evie's class did Jennifer field in relation to Evie's school b/d celebration?
A. none
B. One
C. Two
D. Three
E. Four or more
3. How many days has Juliette been the last one to be picked up by her mother since the first day of school?
A. none
B. One
C. Two
D. Three
E. Four or more
4. How many billable hours has Jennifer completed during school time since the first day of school?
A. none
B. Less than One
C. One to Two
D. Three to Four
E. Five or more ( HA HA HA - can't even type that one with a straight face!)
5. On a scale of minus ten to ten, how clean is the house compared to the day before school started?
Minus ten - exceptionally dirty - the roaches moved out.
Minus five - is that a dead mouse I smell?
Zero - laundry piled high on Daddy's dresser, just like always.
Plus five - one could eat off the floor in the kitchen
Plus ten - the windows are done! Someone call the newspaper!!
So dear reader, how well do you know us?
Monday, September 10, 2007
Happy First Day of School!!!
After a brief show tune we headed off for our first day. Watch out teachers, here we come!!
Friday, September 07, 2007
Hello Open House Farewell Summer
Today was open house at the girls' school. I offer the following highlights.
Juliette's teacher, Mrs. R, is the iconic figure that heads a cult of preschool parents. Every parent that has ever had Mrs. R speaks of her in hushed tones as if in reverent awe.
Juliette made a leaf with her name on it for the door. She is very excited that she has show and tell every week. Panda will be the first object. Juliette also found the classroom computer (heavens knows what that will bring in way of requests at home.), checked out the loft, and settled in with a gaggle of girls to do playdough with letter stamps.
Evie was playing with trucks when I went back to check on her. She had informed her teacher, Mrs. P, that she would prefer to be called "Princess Genevieve" over Evie or just plain Genevieve. She had scoped out the dress up clothes and has learned how to sign herself in to class.
After open house, we went ice skating. Then they both came home and took naps.
As we say goodbye to summer, I offer the following farewells.
Farewell to the kiddie pool. Hello dive team.
Farewell zuchinnis (bikinis). Hello speedo.
Farewell sleeping until 8 am. Hello rush to get breakfast, dressed, and on 66 while HOV is still in effect.
Farewell naps. Hello going to bed at 7:30.
Farewell "what are we going to do today Momma?", Hello "Nothing!" in response to my inquiry of what happened at school today.
Farewell peanut butter and jelly lunches. Hello hyper observance of nut allergies.
Farewell spur of the moment adventures. Hello cleaner house.
Juliette's teacher, Mrs. R, is the iconic figure that heads a cult of preschool parents. Every parent that has ever had Mrs. R speaks of her in hushed tones as if in reverent awe.
Juliette made a leaf with her name on it for the door. She is very excited that she has show and tell every week. Panda will be the first object. Juliette also found the classroom computer (heavens knows what that will bring in way of requests at home.), checked out the loft, and settled in with a gaggle of girls to do playdough with letter stamps.
Evie was playing with trucks when I went back to check on her. She had informed her teacher, Mrs. P, that she would prefer to be called "Princess Genevieve" over Evie or just plain Genevieve. She had scoped out the dress up clothes and has learned how to sign herself in to class.
After open house, we went ice skating. Then they both came home and took naps.
As we say goodbye to summer, I offer the following farewells.
Farewell to the kiddie pool. Hello dive team.
Farewell zuchinnis (bikinis). Hello speedo.
Farewell sleeping until 8 am. Hello rush to get breakfast, dressed, and on 66 while HOV is still in effect.
Farewell naps. Hello going to bed at 7:30.
Farewell "what are we going to do today Momma?", Hello "Nothing!" in response to my inquiry of what happened at school today.
Farewell peanut butter and jelly lunches. Hello hyper observance of nut allergies.
Farewell spur of the moment adventures. Hello cleaner house.
Monday, September 03, 2007
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Willard
So, I took the girls to see Ratatouille last Friday. Wait, let me start at the beginning.
Friday was, in the Manise house, the day of the year known as Black Friday. It is the last weekday of Bruce's month-long vacation.
We all know I love spending time with Juliette and Evie, but they love structure--which is not something I excel at unless I am being paid to do so.
So, Bruce comes home for a month in the summer and every day is a party. I can run errands, the girls have constant attention and someone who lets them chew gum and watch television when I am not around.
Black Monday, yesterday, is the saddest weekday of the year. The gum-reservoir has dried up and there will be no television until Jennifer has a conference call.
Anyways, so last Friday, realizing it was Bruce's last weekday home, I offered to take the girls to the movies. He does chores around the house during his month off, and it is remarkably easier to do this without "help."
Off to a darkened theater we went. I thought the girls would love the movie -- with the gastronomic themes and intelligent banter. This was no "feel the IQ points falling away" Happy Feet. Both girls love to cook. There were no killer whales - what better fun to have?
EXCEPT Evie is petrified of all things furry in the known world. I figured a cooking rat would be ok, because rats are small.
A fatal mistake.
Yes in real life rats are small. On a big screen in the fifth row, a rat is as tall as a building.
The screaming commenced.
And went on.
And on.
We called her father from the theater. He came and got her.
Juliette and I went back in to watch the rest, then Juliette wanted to know how much longer she had to stay.
So, Bruce ended up having some "help" with his last day of repair projects after all.
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Random Thoughts on the Metro
There was consulting work to do, so I took the Metro to work today - first time in a couple of years since I typically drive and singularly support the parks and recreation division of the DC government with my traffic tickets. On this topic it is so easy to digress, back to random thoughts.
Does anyone wearing Brown University t-shirts ever wash their hair? Is it some sort of lower-level Ivy League requirement to not bathe for four years?
Homeless people outside of my train station I miss -- the guy who used to take a cab to his corner and once refused a banana because he didn't have teeth. -- the trumpeter who only knew about five songs and played them every day all day long. The random crazy population in the area is more diverse than ever. Is this a good thing? Are crazies more or less likely to get along with other crazies???
Tourists still stand on the left. What will it take to get these people to stand on the right?
IPods isolate.
Are there more children of commuters on the Metro, or do I just notice them more now that I have children?
Enough random thoughts. We return to cute pictures of girls soon!
Does anyone wearing Brown University t-shirts ever wash their hair? Is it some sort of lower-level Ivy League requirement to not bathe for four years?
Homeless people outside of my train station I miss -- the guy who used to take a cab to his corner and once refused a banana because he didn't have teeth. -- the trumpeter who only knew about five songs and played them every day all day long. The random crazy population in the area is more diverse than ever. Is this a good thing? Are crazies more or less likely to get along with other crazies???
Tourists still stand on the left. What will it take to get these people to stand on the right?
IPods isolate.
Are there more children of commuters on the Metro, or do I just notice them more now that I have children?
Enough random thoughts. We return to cute pictures of girls soon!
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
Hi Everyone!
We are back from a visit to Grandma's house! Where she gave us these spiffy HK shirts!!
What should we do now?? Let's go find something to ransack, O.K.???Quiet, I'm still posing.
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