Much of parenting occurs within the confine of your home. The private mommy. This mommy is only marginally referred to in group settings - "Mommy is grumpy" or "Mommy made popovers for breakfast."
Then, there is the semi-public mommy that can be found at the park, at the grocery store, the museum. People observing this mommy only see her once. People make flash judgements on this mommy all of the time. "She is such a good/bad mommy.....she does x, y, or z right or wrong"
Then, there is public mommy. You run into her every other day at school drop off or you play together publically. There is a fair amount of angst in my life over public mommy. This is where the real "good mommy/bad mommy" perception comes into play.
Why do I care what people think? I know, I know, I shouldn't but I do.
Minor bad mommy example - I went to a party and remembered flowers and my appetizer, but had no photographs of my children. A group of men wouldn't have cared, but this was a group of women.
Bad mommy.
Major bad mommy example -- sending a child to school with pink eye. In my defense, she had been on tobramycin for a day. The teachers let her into class, then she started clinging to me like it was the first day of school all over again. You could see it written all over their faces "Why is she insisting this poor ill child stay here?"
In my further defense, this child had sucked more one-on-one time with mommy in the past four days than since last year before school let out. We did art projects, stickers, played outside, ate treats, together ALL WEEKEND LONG. ALL WITHOUT HER SISTER!!!! We had already dropped her sister off in her class and she saw the golden opportunity to have MORE ALONE TIME WITH MOMMY. She felt fine, and was fine after I left. But up until I snuck away, you could see it in the teacher's eyes...
BAAAADDD Mommy!!!!!!
